When I first re-activate this blog, I planned to post regularly like once every two or three days, but of course easier spoken than done ehehe.
Tomorrow is a public holiday. In fact, we got two public holidays this week, on Tue and Thu. It's kinda an ineffective working week for most companies so many of them shut their office off this week, but mine is not a company so I am still working as usual though I also take leave on red marked days.
On random side,
I had been very indecisive towards eye-cream buying. I'm 28 this year, and I should have incorporated eye care into my routine. Taking a quick flashback, I used to be so vain and fussy with skincares, until four years ago when my skin broke out in rashes and pimples. I had been going to many doctors and they all diagnosed me with acne, but their medication never completely healed my face and instead, led to another problem which I'm dealing with right now, thin red sensitive skin. During these four (torturing) years, I have never been able to take proper skincare.
Cos every goddamn thing broke me out.
It only seemed to work for 2 weeks the longest then it turned my skin crazy. The healing of the rash usually took longer than 2 weeks fml. This evilish cycle went on and on till I decided to stop putting on anything on June last year, because the last doctor I visited seemed hopeless and prescribed me with topical steroids to calm my angry skin. It's up to you to believe whether topical steroid addiction is real or not, but in my case, one I got used to the steroid, I couldn't NOT use it, not even a single day, or else my skin turned crazy again.
It's been almost year and my skin has not completely healed. Improvement is also baby steps.
Then I began seeing fine lines under my eyes. I know it's not merely from me having neglected the proper care of skin around my eyes, but also exaggerated by my work and habit. I often unconsciously squint my eyes while treating my patients and when I'm not treating my patients, I'm never off of my computer screen f-myeyes-l hahaha.
It kinda serves me right.
So so so, this brought me back to the eye cream topic (god how much have I been digressing). I was in between buying the cream from this one usual brand I used to use (before I got that problem), but was kinda reluctant to burn my money for only one tiny pot of 15ml product. Well, this hesitation also 'surprised' me because four years ago, I never thought twice when I wanted to buy their products. I don't know it's because I haven't skincare-shopped in so long time (hence I'm no longer used to spending such an amount on a cream) or I've finally got the sanity that that hefty amount of money are better spent on paying my assistant salary hahahaha. Did a quite good amount of research and it's concluded that even the most expensive eye cream won't be able to correct imperfections like wrinkles and dark-circles. A good quality sleep and, of course, some surgery procedures will.
So yeah, I decided to go with one of the most popular drugstore brand one, which cost me one-sixth of that branded one!
Viva thrifty lifestyle! Hahahah.
Well, maybe if I eventually have more spare, I'll just succumb into their marketing gimmicks. Who knows if the expensive ones do give more stellar result than their cheaper competitors? Anti-aging products are aimed to delay/ correct aging imperfections, and as any other skincare products, the results are not meant to be visible in weeks or months.What if thirty years from now, I will look much younger if I have been religiously using the expensive skincares than the cheap ones? I don't know if I am gonna use their products only to be on the 'safe' side, for a placebo effect. That means, if my skin does eventually sag, I already do my best with it and only cosmetic surgery can help then hehehe.
Ok then back to my problematic skin topic again (I'm such a terrible writer LOL).
I often wonder when it'll eventually stop reacting and why it should have happened at the first place, on me? I didn't remember I had done anything wrong with it, I took a good care, yet it suddenly flared like crazy, and only got worse since. However, there's always hope and I never put off my hope. As I said earlier, improvements are baby steps, but every step counts.
I only thank God for He's given me confidence beyond average ahahaha.. though it sometimes annoys me when people ask and then play smart by giving this and that advices. Just shut up la. Also when someone is so eager examining my face when we are crossing path. At the beginning years, I used to avoid them.. but nowadays, I stare back at their very eyes and send a threatening vibe till they glance away HAHAHA. So fun, so fun.
Walao, just now it occured to me, maybe my skin problem is a curse because I have spent too much money for vanity instead of charity? :O
I must lick my own words heh? Saying that I closed this blog, after two years I just got back my sanity, why should I close this blog? :P
I can't leave blogging at all. Yes, I have my own diary at home, safely kept in secret. But, it's really not the same with blogging ya.. As thru blogging you get that 'tiny bit' of attention you secretly are craving for hahahaha.
Not that I'm seeking your attention, okay?
So two years from my last post fast-forward, life is kinda different. Two years ago I still didn't have a fixed workplace and didn't really know what direction I was going to pursue in my life. Now, I kinda get the image about what I want to achieve in my life. Seriously, having your own business takes so much of yourselves, but it's the also the biggest push you need to keep going.
Never a single day in my past one-and-half year to be precise I did not think about my business, my cases, my clients, and every tid-bits involved in that.
It has depleted my energy beyond expectation and maybe also sucked out the youth in me #gross.
BUT, I'm happier this way!
Remember I used to keep saying about studying overseas about 2-3 years ago?
Just few while then I asked myself again, whether I regret for not pursuing harder for the chance or not.
Given the chance I would still love to go for continuing my education abroad, but at that time, I was not sure I wanted to go overseas for the sole purpose of study or I just get bored with my life and my country. The reason why I didn't fight harder was partly because I did not really want that.
Partly because I was lazy la..
But running my own business really puts me back into the right track. I now know what I want to do, what I want to achieve. I can even break 'em down in particular time-intervals hehe.
Dun think I'm going to be like this when I was still in uni. Cos at that time, I really hated the idea of working, not the money of course, but the general idea of responsibility, commitment, etc.
Maybe because I'm a grown up now hahaha #vomitsblood.
Meanwhile, I am trying to restore some of the old entries. I used to lock 'em all in drafts because of the closure. Such a hardwork haih..
After being missing for more than half a year, I decided to leave this blog.
People change, and so do I. Many things have happened during that six-month hiatus, and now I feel I can no longer resonate to the person who started this blog and bored you with her lame posts haha.. This blog has been with me since 2008 and had my happy, sad, boring moments contained here. However, let the past events be in the past.
I know I'll never be able to quit writing. I might blog again in the future as well, but certainly not today, not tomorrow, or even next month. And certainly not in this blog anymore.
I do not close my Picasa, though I also doubt there'll be regular updates.
I'll see you when I see you! :)
if you my (non-existent) readers miss me, i'm only an email away at margaretha dot yessi @ yahoo dot com
or you can reach me on twitter @yeciyeci